Flowing Through My Mind

Now the doors are wide open for my creativity to flow. It's nice to be able to express myself. Like it's all a breath of fresh air. I don't think I was in any sort of stagnation, I just forget to breath often. I hold my breath way too much. Like it's all too overwhelming or pathetic living in this world. There is a peace that washes over my sadness. It's very beautiful really. Like dancing alone under the stars. When it gets really quiet in my mind I can except my joy. I can hear my music better. The reverberation is my comfort. Knowing I have been like this for so long makes me feel like my entire existence in this plane has been an experiment. In comfort, art, reality creating, and self expression. It's all just a preforming arts project. The guilt I feel constant in my life is a result of me always trying to change others. I think they all should be more like me. Charity is an act of an egomaniac. Not most charity but the emotional kind is, as far as my efforts on that front has been. The ego is so sickening, it really does poison a person. I think the biggest poisons facing Americans today (besides drug dependency) is Alcoholism and egomania. They go hand and hand I'm sure. But they are both real poison. The shit clouds human vision. They block the aura from flowing right, I'm sure. But what am I to do about something like that? Nothing, of course but the presence of the poisons makes it hard to communicate with most people. But that might be a good thing. It's like another level of the filter. What I really love is accepting it all. It helps me move through this world so much better. After I get the flow of making the sounds together just how I like it. I'm going to focus on starting out of my great adventure. This city, or the people who I have access to in it are boring and they make me feel boring. I want to see the true creators. The ones who dare to dream. Real dreams not just some commercial they think they relate to. Many people in this city are like a commercial. Probably because they are reflecting a television program instead of their own reality. Anyway...such as life. My reflection is madness. The madness lets others know I am not vibrating on their level of reality. I think that is how best to the describe the ones who I no longer feel. They are out their vibrating on another frequency. I feel so free right now. I feel like the dead or the new born must feel. Relaxed, curious, and 100% aware that only things I want can happen to me. I might see things I don't want I might hear about them. But they are not for me. I am creating my own reality. I have made that choice. It's an unchallengeable decision. I made it years ago, but I feel I don't say it enough. So I am going to do it again. I am creating my own reality. It's the ultimate art project. How many will truly understand? How many do I truly understand? So that is all for now. I shall be. Unchallenged and unaffected by the empty. I am like a tree. Patient and steadfast in my ways. I'm not a Sequoia, I'm more like those trees Dr. Seuss draws. You know all twisted and hella fucking colorful. Anyway all is well....This is Josalisa and I am in a RiOt.