I am a writer.
It's a struggle.
It's very hard for me to be totally honest about my entire life to you fuckers.
While you are out there constantly putting on the charades.
That drive me to the pen in the first place.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
The Question of Technology
Are our digital friends our controlled substance?
Can you feel the beeping?
Can it hear my breathing?
Thousands of years from now will it be reaching for a human touch?
Is this the brink of digital madness?
The silence scares me.
The soothing glowing blue light upon my face comforts me.
Do I manipulate the technology?
Or does it (the machine) manipulate me?
- Josalisa
Can you feel the beeping?
Can it hear my breathing?
Thousands of years from now will it be reaching for a human touch?
Is this the brink of digital madness?
The silence scares me.
The soothing glowing blue light upon my face comforts me.
Do I manipulate the technology?
Or does it (the machine) manipulate me?
- Josalisa
Friday, September 25, 2009
Planet 3
inside of every man, woman, and animal
is a resistance to this world of meaningless things
we claw with our nails, and fangs
to mold it, this space and time
we are all scientist
of the most intimate kind
blessed by the divine
to rock this land mass
to move this fire ball through space
around the sun, pass mars
boom!!!
through the Milky Way
They can see us comin'
They can see us comin'
wild with madness
wild with joy
wild and chanting
Earthlings, Earthlings
We Are One
is a resistance to this world of meaningless things
we claw with our nails, and fangs
to mold it, this space and time
we are all scientist
of the most intimate kind
blessed by the divine
to rock this land mass
to move this fire ball through space
around the sun, pass mars
boom!!!
through the Milky Way
They can see us comin'
They can see us comin'
wild with madness
wild with joy
wild and chanting
Earthlings, Earthlings
We Are One
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Stop it. For real.
It shouldn't bother me, but I can't look pass when people focus on some dumb shit when real shit is going down. I live through a lot of unnecessary energies. I guess they must be there as a sort of lesson, or guide for future ideas, or accomplishments. But sometimes I just really wonder. Why do I have to see some of the things made clear to me in this life? I don't know if I really feel stagnated, or helpless to change many situations. I want to help people, and help myself in this life adventure. But sometimes I really wonder if that is even what I need to be doing. I know when I focus on my own life things work out a lot better for me. I feel more peace, and joy flow into me. I am also able to see what I can do to assist my fellow man, friends, or family (if anything) better when I try to change the way I view the world. I know I have a purpose in many situations. I just want to stay focused on that, and master my arts, and mathematics. So I can make the world a better place. Here's a poem:
This One Thing Can Never Be Moved
so I feel the joy inside
that makes me write
it's my little miracle
I can overcome the obstacles
'cause I know there are none
I learned that from the Matrix
my words are my weapon
I am a digital assassin
number 20121615
I really believe I have a fair shot
at winning this war that is yet to begin
so many faces of sadness
yet I wear a grin
it's called personal madness
creative sanity fighting through the worlds lack of humanity
with one weapon
the mind
and a vivid understanding of this place, and time
This One Thing Can Never Be Moved
so I feel the joy inside
that makes me write
it's my little miracle
I can overcome the obstacles
'cause I know there are none
I learned that from the Matrix
my words are my weapon
I am a digital assassin
number 20121615
I really believe I have a fair shot
at winning this war that is yet to begin
so many faces of sadness
yet I wear a grin
it's called personal madness
creative sanity fighting through the worlds lack of humanity
with one weapon
the mind
and a vivid understanding of this place, and time
Sunday, September 6, 2009
I see Everything. And it's too bright.
In light I dream
At night I write
Trying to balance something
All is not right
I am the beginning of everything
The end is close at sight
I feel the world's joy, and suffering
But now only through my eyes
At some point I thought to make it right
Now I know my power source is for more
Like dreams in the night tell more
The world is a mystery
A puzzled laid out for me
Will I ever solve it?
Will that be my demise?
I write these words with hope
That one day they will help me close my eyes
At night I write
Trying to balance something
All is not right
I am the beginning of everything
The end is close at sight
I feel the world's joy, and suffering
But now only through my eyes
At some point I thought to make it right
Now I know my power source is for more
Like dreams in the night tell more
The world is a mystery
A puzzled laid out for me
Will I ever solve it?
Will that be my demise?
I write these words with hope
That one day they will help me close my eyes
Dream 9/6/09
In my dream I worked for a shop owned my Steven Spielberg.
I thought it was a pot dispensary, but now I'm not sure.
I know the place sold pot, and also sold costumes.
I was getting off of work soon in the dream.
So I change into a Princess Leia outfit.
Was it a Halloween outfit?
Was it just a geek thing?
I'm not sure.
It wasn't traditional(the costume).
It was a mini skirt, and top two piece thing.
I remember thinking I need to put my hair in buns to work it all out.
Anyway.
I had a boyfriend in the dream. He was visiting me for the first time at my job (whatever kind of job it was). I was changing into my costume in the back of the store in a bathroom. Someone directed him to me. At that moment the Cops raided the store. He (my dream boyfriend) got me out of the bathroom, and we ran out the backdoor to his car. A powder blue Chevy 1969 Impala.
The place, and the car was surrounded my cops. So we jump out,and ran. We ended up at his Mom's place. She was a single parent. He lived in a single apartment with her. I remember the make up of the apartment. The living room had a couch, a chair, and a T.V. She was in the kitchen which was separate, and there was a door to the left of the living room down a short hall way. I thought it was a closet, or the bathroom.
He introduced me to his Mom for the first time. She came out of the kitchen to greet me on the couch. I was still wearing the Princess Leia outfit. See seemed not to mind, and invited me into the kitchen. I remember being happy I was wearing the costume. Like it protected me from something,I don't know what.
She was making food. I don't remember what it was. The two of them seemed to get along pretty well. she asked about the car. He told her he had to leave it somewhere, and would pick it up later. She seem curious, but knew not to ask too many questions.
By the end of the dream I knew I couldn't go back to work that day, and couldn't go home. I knew I would stay there with him, and his Mom. And I was wishing that hallway lead to a bedroom. I wanted privacy, but knew potentially there would be none. I wanted to find out more but this is all.
Notes:
When we ran out to the car we both got in. The Cops began to surround us. Not focused on us, but the store. We both got out, and ran. He was the lead, I followed.
The boyfriend in the dream seem like an image of my boyfriend in real life. With some small changes.
The run to his house did not take more than 3-4 dream minutes.
I recognized some of the details from when I came into work that day. Meaning at the very beginning of my dream I walked a few blocks to work. I didn't recognize the blocks then, or know what the business entrance looked like though I walk through the entrance.
However when I ran out of the store from the back parking lot with my dream boyfriend I did recognize the streets from earlier. I found this sort of strange.
I stole the Princess Leia costume from work.
This is all I remember. The details are fading even as a write this.
I thought it was a pot dispensary, but now I'm not sure.
I know the place sold pot, and also sold costumes.
I was getting off of work soon in the dream.
So I change into a Princess Leia outfit.
Was it a Halloween outfit?
Was it just a geek thing?
I'm not sure.
It wasn't traditional(the costume).
It was a mini skirt, and top two piece thing.
I remember thinking I need to put my hair in buns to work it all out.
Anyway.
I had a boyfriend in the dream. He was visiting me for the first time at my job (whatever kind of job it was). I was changing into my costume in the back of the store in a bathroom. Someone directed him to me. At that moment the Cops raided the store. He (my dream boyfriend) got me out of the bathroom, and we ran out the backdoor to his car. A powder blue Chevy 1969 Impala.
The place, and the car was surrounded my cops. So we jump out,and ran. We ended up at his Mom's place. She was a single parent. He lived in a single apartment with her. I remember the make up of the apartment. The living room had a couch, a chair, and a T.V. She was in the kitchen which was separate, and there was a door to the left of the living room down a short hall way. I thought it was a closet, or the bathroom.
He introduced me to his Mom for the first time. She came out of the kitchen to greet me on the couch. I was still wearing the Princess Leia outfit. See seemed not to mind, and invited me into the kitchen. I remember being happy I was wearing the costume. Like it protected me from something,I don't know what.
She was making food. I don't remember what it was. The two of them seemed to get along pretty well. she asked about the car. He told her he had to leave it somewhere, and would pick it up later. She seem curious, but knew not to ask too many questions.
By the end of the dream I knew I couldn't go back to work that day, and couldn't go home. I knew I would stay there with him, and his Mom. And I was wishing that hallway lead to a bedroom. I wanted privacy, but knew potentially there would be none. I wanted to find out more but this is all.
Notes:
When we ran out to the car we both got in. The Cops began to surround us. Not focused on us, but the store. We both got out, and ran. He was the lead, I followed.
The boyfriend in the dream seem like an image of my boyfriend in real life. With some small changes.
The run to his house did not take more than 3-4 dream minutes.
I recognized some of the details from when I came into work that day. Meaning at the very beginning of my dream I walked a few blocks to work. I didn't recognize the blocks then, or know what the business entrance looked like though I walk through the entrance.
However when I ran out of the store from the back parking lot with my dream boyfriend I did recognize the streets from earlier. I found this sort of strange.
I stole the Princess Leia costume from work.
This is all I remember. The details are fading even as a write this.
This Will Never Change
The sound of these words in my mind rattled me awake in the earliest point of day/night.I had a dream. And in that I was once again reminded that it is all a dream. When I reentered this realm I couldn't tell it from the other. The disorientation left me such a sense of vagueness I had to write. Because where is a writer's mind? In the land of the dreaming.
Moments in this world overwhelmed me with emotions. Making me believe that they are in control. And for a second, a flash I lost hold of my title, of my thoughts as Queen Of My Own Tiny Part Of Universal Existence. It was just for a moment, and that moment was a life time in my own eyes. I sometimes think my mind as an artist, and my mind as a participant in the human drama gets all mixed up. I too often dream of things that will happen later own in the day. I have not decided to take my dreams as a warning, or as a gift. I also haven't figure out if I dream the future, or am I just picking up universal thought waves?
I can't really tell. What I do know is my life exist for poetry, and prose alone.
And this will never change.
Moments in this world overwhelmed me with emotions. Making me believe that they are in control. And for a second, a flash I lost hold of my title, of my thoughts as Queen Of My Own Tiny Part Of Universal Existence. It was just for a moment, and that moment was a life time in my own eyes. I sometimes think my mind as an artist, and my mind as a participant in the human drama gets all mixed up. I too often dream of things that will happen later own in the day. I have not decided to take my dreams as a warning, or as a gift. I also haven't figure out if I dream the future, or am I just picking up universal thought waves?
I can't really tell. What I do know is my life exist for poetry, and prose alone.
And this will never change.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
This happened as I died
The filth of the city drives us all mad with craving, with hunger, with lonely silence bleeding through our ears.
A couple catches my eye on the subway. He must have been handsome at one time. She must have been beautiful. But they have destroyed one another. Clinging to lost hope, want, and jealously. They now die in each others arms. Never being what could have been.
The city destroys you like love. Like procreation, or political banter. The metropolis is a lie we all know of, but still choose to believe in. We will all crush one another someday, and feed off the flesh of the the lost dreams. I see it in the eyes of the infants. Living as orphans though they still cling to their teenage mother's breast.
The metropolis stings my eyes like the sun if you stare directly into it. Why have I given it so many years? Why don't I go off to some tropical escape? The only true answer is; I thrive on the emptiness, and bitter hatred the city has to offer. If I did make my great escape. It wouldn't be for tropical isles, with girls in skinny bikinis. It would be for more of this. Gas masked citizens, and barely beating hatred hearts of men, teenagers plugged so deeply into the machine they can't remember what planet they're on.
I am the dream of my former self. I've come to introduce you to the filth left behind by the loveliest butterfly you have ever seen. But I already know you wouldn't recognized a butterfly if it's metal wing brushed up against your retina cutting the first layer of it completely off.
I am Josalisa and my life is ending every second of every day.
A couple catches my eye on the subway. He must have been handsome at one time. She must have been beautiful. But they have destroyed one another. Clinging to lost hope, want, and jealously. They now die in each others arms. Never being what could have been.
The city destroys you like love. Like procreation, or political banter. The metropolis is a lie we all know of, but still choose to believe in. We will all crush one another someday, and feed off the flesh of the the lost dreams. I see it in the eyes of the infants. Living as orphans though they still cling to their teenage mother's breast.
The metropolis stings my eyes like the sun if you stare directly into it. Why have I given it so many years? Why don't I go off to some tropical escape? The only true answer is; I thrive on the emptiness, and bitter hatred the city has to offer. If I did make my great escape. It wouldn't be for tropical isles, with girls in skinny bikinis. It would be for more of this. Gas masked citizens, and barely beating hatred hearts of men, teenagers plugged so deeply into the machine they can't remember what planet they're on.
I am the dream of my former self. I've come to introduce you to the filth left behind by the loveliest butterfly you have ever seen. But I already know you wouldn't recognized a butterfly if it's metal wing brushed up against your retina cutting the first layer of it completely off.
I am Josalisa and my life is ending every second of every day.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Is This Forced? Or May The Force Be With Me.
People say you have to practice your craft every day. You know as disciple. I try but I don't like things to feel forced. If writing isn't just a natural inspiration then it's just boring. I think having to do the same thing every day is boring anyway. So there's the conflict of interest. I don't know. I sometimes like to think of myself as a post-punk poet. Nay I just made that up, I don't create titles for myself like that. For me it's all just random mathematics. So what's that like? A giant jigsaw puzzle with the different pieces all falling constantly at random.
So what's the point here? I forgot. The New Kids On The Block are on Jimmy Kimmel right now. I don't have anymore time for this. The moral of the story is. I want white waves to flow over my body, as the sunshine kisses my lips.
For now I have the sweet light of the moon. And it is brilliant.
So what's the point here? I forgot. The New Kids On The Block are on Jimmy Kimmel right now. I don't have anymore time for this. The moral of the story is. I want white waves to flow over my body, as the sunshine kisses my lips.
For now I have the sweet light of the moon. And it is brilliant.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Insomnia
So I have been awake all night. It is now 5Am, and your girl is still conscience. I watched way too much television tonight. And now I am hoping music can put me to sleep. I have to say I am enjoying being up all night. Getting kind of tired now, so I'm going to try to enter Morpheus' gate. Dear friend please be welcoming. I have a high sensory situation going on right now, I have a feeling tomorrow will be a nice adventurous day. Or I could just sleep all day. Whatever. Good night. For me at least.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
If I Didn't Live Among The Robots
If all my dreams came true
I would look around more often
And realize your girl's been hot
I'd write more poems to the ether
And perform improve in theaters
If I didn't live among the robots
I'd realize this is all my crazy fantasy
Daughter of an android
In an alternate galaxy
I'd like people more
If I could just stop meeting Orwell in my dreams
And the cameras weren't on all the time
My final destination will be a Martian work colony
Ray Bradbury told me
I'd be more free
If it weren't for all the robots
I'd be a real girl
Not just a poet on a spaceship
Disguised as a planet
I would look around more often
And realize your girl's been hot
I'd write more poems to the ether
And perform improve in theaters
If I didn't live among the robots
I'd realize this is all my crazy fantasy
Daughter of an android
In an alternate galaxy
I'd like people more
If I could just stop meeting Orwell in my dreams
And the cameras weren't on all the time
My final destination will be a Martian work colony
Ray Bradbury told me
I'd be more free
If it weren't for all the robots
I'd be a real girl
Not just a poet on a spaceship
Disguised as a planet
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Floating In This Space
In the interest of preserving the mind
I offer these lines
To the empty waves of ether
I woke up from a dream last night
And didn't know what dimension I'd stumbled into
Are you real
Then why am I so far away from you
In my own haze
Or slumber
We can all be just want we want
Yet we all choose to be astronauts
Floating by the sun
Here on spaceship Earth
I offer these lines
To the empty waves of ether
I woke up from a dream last night
And didn't know what dimension I'd stumbled into
Are you real
Then why am I so far away from you
In my own haze
Or slumber
We can all be just want we want
Yet we all choose to be astronauts
Floating by the sun
Here on spaceship Earth
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
The Suck My Sosa Adventure
I had a cool little adventure yesterday. I went to see Jess, & Johnny.
I got to show off my knew short hair cut.
Contrary to my previous belief. Short hair is more fun.
We took the bus everywhere as usual.
And got on peoples nerves with are happy go lucky ways.
As usual.
I got to show off my knew short hair cut.
Contrary to my previous belief. Short hair is more fun.
We took the bus everywhere as usual.
And got on peoples nerves with are happy go lucky ways.
As usual.
Friday, January 30, 2009
The Reader
This is not a movie review. I never know what an artist intentions are.
None of us do really. Not even the artist. This is just what was inspired in my mind at the conclusion of the film.
Dreaming & Sickness.
I read somewhere that being sick is God trying to communicate with you in a personal way. Like making you take time off for a one on one with the universe.
I kept this with me because it made me not feel so sad about being sick. So instead of me getting all frustrated, and missing the things I would naturally be doing if not for the illness. I just meditated and listen for the sound of God. I learn a lot of things in sickness now. It makes sickness more like a dream, than a time of headache, and fever, and the smell of vicks vapor rub. I know someone my reply that this may not be true for the chronically, or terminally ill. To you I say this is not about illness, it's about The Reader.
The boy being sick in the movie lead him to his fate. So maybe the sickness was a gift. Something that took him out of his natural element, and into the arms of the person who would change him. And whose life he would change.
Silence
It's a strange thing. Not the silence of the night, or the silence of the mind. But the silence of people. Those who refuse to speck, or that will keep a secret for ever. I have to say I find these types admirable, only because I myself have to by my true nature say everything. I often wonder what gives a person the will to hold in certain things till their death? And if this act is an act of strength, or weakness?
Knowledge
This film is a testament to it's power. The character Hannah had no knowledge of certain things. Due to negligence by others, or her own disinterest I know not. But the fact still remains the same. Having access to this information impacted the woman's entire life. Would access to this information have saved her life, intern saving the life of hundreds of others? And what does this say about our role as individuals in a society? Is knowledge a thing of privilege, as it is played out in our modern theater? Or is it desperately essential to or survival as humans, and in some cases to the survival of animals? Is the sharing of information vital to our survival as a culture? Could lack of it lead to a holocaust? What does this mean I should do with the limited amount of information I hold?
Love
Can it be measured, or judged. And is every human encounter something bigger. I mean can the person working at the check out counter, or someone you meet by chance be a major part of ones life journey. And what does this say about relationships, or life in general. Should we be looking for something deeper in every moment of the day? Is every so called casual encounter an act of love? Even the negative ones. It could be that they are love unexpressed, or misinterpreted.
Books
Only here to say this. They have saved me in this world, and made me what I am today. A nobody with a simple dream. To know what it is you are trying to say in this world. By you, I mean we. By we, I mean people on this planet. All the people. Sometimes when I go into a new place( like someone's home, or a bookstore), and I see a very large amount of books it just brings me to tears. And this movie helped me to understand why. There is so much to say in this world... So much to say. As a side note. J.D. Salinger I fucking miss you, and I wish you would write another book.
The Nazis
All I can say about the Nazis is, they where people. And this world is crazy.
Before it was a movie
It was a book written by Bernhard Schlink. We often forget writers when we see movies of their work. This is him.
Anyway I have more to say. But I don't feel like saying it right now so that's that.
None of us do really. Not even the artist. This is just what was inspired in my mind at the conclusion of the film.
Dreaming & Sickness.
I read somewhere that being sick is God trying to communicate with you in a personal way. Like making you take time off for a one on one with the universe.
I kept this with me because it made me not feel so sad about being sick. So instead of me getting all frustrated, and missing the things I would naturally be doing if not for the illness. I just meditated and listen for the sound of God. I learn a lot of things in sickness now. It makes sickness more like a dream, than a time of headache, and fever, and the smell of vicks vapor rub. I know someone my reply that this may not be true for the chronically, or terminally ill. To you I say this is not about illness, it's about The Reader.
The boy being sick in the movie lead him to his fate. So maybe the sickness was a gift. Something that took him out of his natural element, and into the arms of the person who would change him. And whose life he would change.
Silence
It's a strange thing. Not the silence of the night, or the silence of the mind. But the silence of people. Those who refuse to speck, or that will keep a secret for ever. I have to say I find these types admirable, only because I myself have to by my true nature say everything. I often wonder what gives a person the will to hold in certain things till their death? And if this act is an act of strength, or weakness?
Knowledge
This film is a testament to it's power. The character Hannah had no knowledge of certain things. Due to negligence by others, or her own disinterest I know not. But the fact still remains the same. Having access to this information impacted the woman's entire life. Would access to this information have saved her life, intern saving the life of hundreds of others? And what does this say about our role as individuals in a society? Is knowledge a thing of privilege, as it is played out in our modern theater? Or is it desperately essential to or survival as humans, and in some cases to the survival of animals? Is the sharing of information vital to our survival as a culture? Could lack of it lead to a holocaust? What does this mean I should do with the limited amount of information I hold?
Love
Can it be measured, or judged. And is every human encounter something bigger. I mean can the person working at the check out counter, or someone you meet by chance be a major part of ones life journey. And what does this say about relationships, or life in general. Should we be looking for something deeper in every moment of the day? Is every so called casual encounter an act of love? Even the negative ones. It could be that they are love unexpressed, or misinterpreted.
Books
Only here to say this. They have saved me in this world, and made me what I am today. A nobody with a simple dream. To know what it is you are trying to say in this world. By you, I mean we. By we, I mean people on this planet. All the people. Sometimes when I go into a new place( like someone's home, or a bookstore), and I see a very large amount of books it just brings me to tears. And this movie helped me to understand why. There is so much to say in this world... So much to say. As a side note. J.D. Salinger I fucking miss you, and I wish you would write another book.
The Nazis
All I can say about the Nazis is, they where people. And this world is crazy.
Before it was a movie
It was a book written by Bernhard Schlink. We often forget writers when we see movies of their work. This is him.
Anyway I have more to say. But I don't feel like saying it right now so that's that.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
The Muppets
I don't believe in politics.
I don't believe in Barak Obama.
I don't believe in any politicians.
I watch the muppets.
That's right.
I do not carry signs.
I don't sign petitions.
I watch Pigs In Space.
And it's peaceful world.
Politics is a shameful, and dirty game.
Full of lies, and warmongers.
The Muppets have live shows with Elton John.
Politicians don't care who they kill.
The Muppets ain't with that.
The Muppets are peaceful.
And some of them are furry.
So I'm with The Muppets.
Kermit The Frog for 2009.
I like him best because he is not running for anything.
And for the people who think this is ignorant, and insensitive.
Maybe you should watch the Muppets.
I don't believe in Barak Obama.
I don't believe in any politicians.
I watch the muppets.
That's right.
I do not carry signs.
I don't sign petitions.
I watch Pigs In Space.
And it's peaceful world.
Politics is a shameful, and dirty game.
Full of lies, and warmongers.
The Muppets have live shows with Elton John.
Politicians don't care who they kill.
The Muppets ain't with that.
The Muppets are peaceful.
And some of them are furry.
So I'm with The Muppets.
Kermit The Frog for 2009.
I like him best because he is not running for anything.
And for the people who think this is ignorant, and insensitive.
Maybe you should watch the Muppets.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
This is a Manifestation
I'm been offered a job that will start on February 8th.
And I'm getting it.
There will be no obstacle.
I am an artist, and a writer by God's will.
However I'm starving out here, and I've been all but blacklisted from mainstream America for the last two years.
So I'm calling all Angels.
Let the poverty end.
This is the thing for me.
I know I have a dream and it is coming through.
However a sista needs to eat.
So people of the Ether.
This is real.
And I'm putting it out there.
This job is mine.
And I'm getting it.
There will be no obstacle.
I am an artist, and a writer by God's will.
However I'm starving out here, and I've been all but blacklisted from mainstream America for the last two years.
So I'm calling all Angels.
Let the poverty end.
This is the thing for me.
I know I have a dream and it is coming through.
However a sista needs to eat.
So people of the Ether.
This is real.
And I'm putting it out there.
This job is mine.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Something or Rather
I have disappointed friends today. I feel like I often disappoint, there is always someone to offend. I myself are rarely offended by anything. Yet I deeply understand the sentiment. I planned to change somethings this year, but so far things have remained virtually unchanged. I'm still living in the same life situations, and doing things to make them different seem useless. Like I feel as if I'm not on the right track to my true future. But every time I make an effort to get on another direction things stay the same. Like the blandness is holding on for dear God. And you know maybe I've been on the right track all along. And where I am is where I need to be, so maybe I should look around a little more.
Sometime there is this
writing keeps me isolated
or is that just me
my thought keep me in a sort of forced solitude
or is that my dreams
Sometime there is this
writing keeps me isolated
or is that just me
my thought keep me in a sort of forced solitude
or is that my dreams
mmmm
So today was a day of job interview type things. I always think these things go awful. But who knows maybe it wasn't as bad as I thought. I really believe that people in the valley think I'm unemployable. I might just be too much of a weirdo. You know "too punk for metal, too metal for punk." But we shall see my friends.
The super good news of the day is, on the way back for the job adventure. I came upon a yard sale,and they had a bunch of books. FOR FREE!! So I got a bunch of Maya Angelou, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, and other fun stuff like that. And of course you know that made my day.
And I had a dream last night that I was reading "100 years of Solitude" and I got a copy of that at the yard sale today. So we'll have to see what kind of little messages I find in these found jewels.
Most of the time I feel like Camus' stranger, or a character out of a Dostoyevski novel. You know completely on an isolated island of the mind, yet living among the others in a constant sort of detachment.
Here's a poem:
Words mean more to me than personal contact
does that make me too distant
and how far away am I really
could you touch me with a cloud
I feel above the world looking down
and I am comfortable with my wings
I live lovely in my dreams
in a room filled with music and books
my life is lived in a journal
my closest friend is a turtle
until my destiny is complete
I am a hermit with a smile
and of course mad style
The super good news of the day is, on the way back for the job adventure. I came upon a yard sale,and they had a bunch of books. FOR FREE!! So I got a bunch of Maya Angelou, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, and other fun stuff like that. And of course you know that made my day.
And I had a dream last night that I was reading "100 years of Solitude" and I got a copy of that at the yard sale today. So we'll have to see what kind of little messages I find in these found jewels.
Most of the time I feel like Camus' stranger, or a character out of a Dostoyevski novel. You know completely on an isolated island of the mind, yet living among the others in a constant sort of detachment.
Here's a poem:
Words mean more to me than personal contact
does that make me too distant
and how far away am I really
could you touch me with a cloud
I feel above the world looking down
and I am comfortable with my wings
I live lovely in my dreams
in a room filled with music and books
my life is lived in a journal
my closest friend is a turtle
until my destiny is complete
I am a hermit with a smile
and of course mad style
Saturday, January 17, 2009
A Working Class Hero?
So tomorrow I am going to go check out a place that may be decent enough to work at. It's a thrift store in North Hollywood. So I hope it is as laid back, and fashionable as I am imagining right now.
Okay that's all.
Lazy fingers.
I'll update on this later.
I'm out.
Okay that's all.
Lazy fingers.
I'll update on this later.
I'm out.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Undercovers & Transexuals Gone Wild
Today my block got mad hot. My local neighborhood tranny got busted by detectives, for reasons unknown to your girl. All I really know is that when I got on my block this evening she was laid out on the curb in her drawls with DT's all around. I was like "what the fuck?" There were like at least seven detectives in plain cars (not a black & white in sight) on one tranny. I mean really. On top of this weirdness a little kid skater click I had never seen before were snitching to the cops about her. I couldn't hear what they where saying. But it was a trip, really.
The saddest thing about it. Well it's all sad really. But the other sad thing about it is that the tranny has a little dog, and I wonder if it's okay in her condo all alone. Who knows. One things for sure, city life ain't nothing to fuck with. It gets really rugged out here.
Oh, and I have a new city on my hate list.
Sun Valley... Die slow... You suck.
And I'm out.
The saddest thing about it. Well it's all sad really. But the other sad thing about it is that the tranny has a little dog, and I wonder if it's okay in her condo all alone. Who knows. One things for sure, city life ain't nothing to fuck with. It gets really rugged out here.
Oh, and I have a new city on my hate list.
Sun Valley... Die slow... You suck.
And I'm out.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Burbank
I took the bus to Burbank today. I went to sign up for one of those audience participation gigs. You know you go watch them tape live T.V. shows, and clap, and laugh and stuff like that. Whatever. The point is I now hate Burbank. One it's sort of my fault for trying to take the bus somewhere like that. Two the old people in the city of Burbank are awesome. And if you have to go there just try to find a Senior Citizen, and you may be greatly entertained.
First, it's hella far from my spot. Then the buses are super slow there. And I don't know it just seemed generally lame. I'm sure it has it's redeemable qualities.
But as for now I'm done with Burbank. I did find a really cool used bookstore called, Book Castle. It's was worth the trip.
I got three new for me, used in reality books.
"Notes From The underground" by, Dostoyevsky
"Franny and Zooey" by, J.D. Salinger
"Through A Glass Clearly" by, Isaac Asimov
All of these books are amazing, and imaginative.
I'll update later with book reviews.
And that's about that.
Later
First, it's hella far from my spot. Then the buses are super slow there. And I don't know it just seemed generally lame. I'm sure it has it's redeemable qualities.
But as for now I'm done with Burbank. I did find a really cool used bookstore called, Book Castle. It's was worth the trip.
I got three new for me, used in reality books.
"Notes From The underground" by, Dostoyevsky
"Franny and Zooey" by, J.D. Salinger
"Through A Glass Clearly" by, Isaac Asimov
All of these books are amazing, and imaginative.
I'll update later with book reviews.
And that's about that.
Later
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Purple Leggings
I am so in in love with my purple leggings from American Apparel. I don't know why I don't wear
them more often. But when I do I feel like I got me a new set of Space Legs, BAAABY!!
I am wearing purple, blue, orange, and polka dots. I feel like Rainbow Bright.
She really is one of my fashion icons, along with Judy Jetson.
Shout out to Jet Screamer.
Today is a wild, crazy fresh day. And you know it gets better. I'm going to hang with my brother De'andre a little later.
Oh yeah, and we got a new fresh, and shiny oven. So your girl can get her Rachel Ray on.
Alright. That's it.
I'm out.
them more often. But when I do I feel like I got me a new set of Space Legs, BAAABY!!
I am wearing purple, blue, orange, and polka dots. I feel like Rainbow Bright.
She really is one of my fashion icons, along with Judy Jetson.
Shout out to Jet Screamer.
Today is a wild, crazy fresh day. And you know it gets better. I'm going to hang with my brother De'andre a little later.
Oh yeah, and we got a new fresh, and shiny oven. So your girl can get her Rachel Ray on.
Alright. That's it.
I'm out.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Pizza & A Walk
I just had a nice walk with my dog, and my boyfriend.
We eat pizza on the walk.
I think this may be a good way to have junk food by not get all fat.
You just eat while walking a hug pit bull dog who is snatching fifty percent of the food out of your hands. I think I might be on to something.
Okay I'm outta of this spot.
Stay gold Ponyboy.
We eat pizza on the walk.
I think this may be a good way to have junk food by not get all fat.
You just eat while walking a hug pit bull dog who is snatching fifty percent of the food out of your hands. I think I might be on to something.
Okay I'm outta of this spot.
Stay gold Ponyboy.
Another Fire
Did I tell you? My stove caught on fire this morning. I mean the thing is electric, and it just went mad. The oven was on at like 5am my mom's an early birdie. And the electric wiring in there just went up in flames. It was pretty much madness folks. We had to call the fire department, and all that shit.
Side note the LAFD has the largest amount of hotties compared to any other public service department by far. Do you know? Right.
Anyways things didn't get all out of hand. The fire was contained in the stove itself, but still. For real doe. It was hella smokey in here too.
Good news.
We are going to get a new stove. Maybe I'll start to bake more. We'll see.
I'm listening to The Chantels "Maybe". So you know, it all can happen.
Some weirdness for today for sure.
I feel a little off right now, because of all the early morning excitment. I'm trying to channel it into creativity. So it will go to good use.
I meet some pretty cool new people on Myspace today. That was fun.
And....... I'm out.
Side note the LAFD has the largest amount of hotties compared to any other public service department by far. Do you know? Right.
Anyways things didn't get all out of hand. The fire was contained in the stove itself, but still. For real doe. It was hella smokey in here too.
Good news.
We are going to get a new stove. Maybe I'll start to bake more. We'll see.
I'm listening to The Chantels "Maybe". So you know, it all can happen.
Some weirdness for today for sure.
I feel a little off right now, because of all the early morning excitment. I'm trying to channel it into creativity. So it will go to good use.
I meet some pretty cool new people on Myspace today. That was fun.
And....... I'm out.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
'Sup
I just got up. JoJo woke me up to kisses, which I have to admit was a very awesome. I am still enjoying my hair cut so much. I feel like I'm on a new life adventure. Where will my short hair cut take me today Machine Heads? Yesterday was really chill. I looked super indy and I loved it. I wore my Polo style dress, with green, and white striped leggings. My black ballet slippers, they looked so cute with their little bow. And I had on my little blue parka, and red sixties secretary glasses. I was loving it. I also watched the movie Tropic Thunder yesterday, against my better judgment. It was great, I shouldn't have been a hater on that movie. It was pretty funny. The black character that Robort Downey Jr. played, the one that I thought would be racist Mizz. Was in fact very funny. So I learned the lesson of not judging a book by it cover, again. I'm going to get dressed, and prepared for my daily adventures. The only thing I have scheduled for this week, is tomorrow going to get an audience participation gig, and to go get my money straight. And Jessica on Tuesday. Short set up but I'm still looking forward to it. Okay I'm listening to Adle "Chasing Pavements".
And I'm out.
And I'm out.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Yeah
So I'm having the great day I predicted. I fixed my money issue. So for sure I'll have a steady income coming in. And I laid down a cool job opportunity, just what I was looking for. I have a super good feeling a about this gig. I think this may be just the break I needed. I'm making the Ultimate Ska Playlist in the mean time. It's rockin' and I'm out.
Peace
The only thing on my agenda for today is.
Drinking Saki, or Vodka, and Getting envelopes for mailing out manuscripts.
Peace
The only thing on my agenda for today is.
Drinking Saki, or Vodka, and Getting envelopes for mailing out manuscripts.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Sweet Reward
I just cut off my long dreads. And it's awesome. I feel so free. Like all that hair was just weighing me down. And now I'm getting my Audrey on. It's a really good way to start off the New Year. 2009 is on and cracking youngins. And you know what? It's no hating in 2009. All the haters stepped off last year. And there is no room aboard the S.S. Foe Shizzy. Ya know!! Any way. That is all.
I'm out.
A. Josalisa
I'm out.
A. Josalisa
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