Be Positive

I have to think, and manifest with love, and joy. I'm just really going to focus on that. I Know in joy, and positivity no harm can come to me. I know with patients, and faith all my dreams will come true. The universe is conspiring in my favor as I write these words. I will embrace happiness in the face of any adversity. In fact there is no adversity. There is only life, and love at this moment. With pure intention, and focused thought I will seize this moment. I will reach for the light which is never out of reach. I will remember what I have forgotten. I will travel deep within my self and feel my strength. A fight is never necessary. When one taps into the all knowing. Words are my connection with it all. Yet I know at know time can I truly ever be disconnected. There is much love here. I am swimming in the light which never dims. File this under "Bravery through Love".

I t doesn't matter

It's so simple to abandon the one you love
cause it' s too hard
so I suffer and I know this will go on
when one loves they know not what it is
so I'm turning my back on you too
all of you
I suffer because I love
and know not what it is
I have a shaky hand now when I write
what did I really think was going to happen
that you'd take me away from all this
that you'd know the answers to this puzzle
but you are just a kid
and I'm this woman whose heart hurts too much
they're breaking me
but I can still see the sun
I'm running so fast
and the pain still catches up
I just wanted joy
But I don't know what it is
I wonder how long will I live
and will my words survive
will you get me then

Most sleep as I dream with my eyes open. Drowning from the light on the mahines screen. My thoughts travel in many diffrent directions. I have too many questions to list tonight. Today. I'm always hoping for a change. Now I just want some form of stability. And to aquire the tools I need in order to advance my abilities. Silence covers my tounge. Therefore I must run. Farewell.

This is the day

Good morning. So far so good. You know. Everyday it get easier to breath. I want to thank God for all that has come before this. Today may not be a big day. But somehow I feel great joy in anticipation of the events that will be laid before my path. Traditional optimism makes for bad poetry in my opinion. Yet here I am, holding hope in one hand. And the flows in the other.

I can only expect to be uplifted
by who
the street angels
my own joy flows through the madness
it's all too big
yet it's shrinking
it's all confusing
so I'm still thinking
life is just a blink of the eye
one wink until I die

close to my life time

there is a point in my life I am waiting to reach
like my true life has not began
to contemplate this disgust me somehow
the fact that I know every moment should be joyful
but it's not
How do I know it it's supposed to be joyful
I just think I do
All I really know is what I think
far to deep in my own imagination
with flashes of all of them
how far away from all of this can I get
I used to want to be an astronaut
now I'm calling all cosmonauts
the countdown has began
7654321.....

Poets do not die

words last a literate lifetime
they blow with the wind
change with the season
and for clear reason
won't sleep or die
poets do not die
we blink
sometimes
we

Some type of crazy man madness

I feel like my boyfriend is a nutcase sometimes. The question is. Is he trying to take me with him? I always get these calls from him in the middle of the night. And though I have sympathy, and feel in solidarity with his suffering. I wonder I much more I can take. What shall be the concussion?
Can I save a life, while trying to live a life that seems too hard for me. What could I really be if my life were my own? Am I a bad person when I say no matter how long you've loved a person you can rescue no one. How much of all this is just him being drunk?How much of this is just pure bad judgment? How much of it is life karma? Then there is the question of karma? Is this my bad karma, or his? Is this good, or bad karma? Is the universe trying to whisper something into our ears? Where would his life be without me? Where would my life be without him? How can another soul blame you for the life they are living? Must be nice to not have to just except it. Sometimes I wish I lived the life in my dreams. Where I am happy again. Maybe I am. What to do when your life has been hijacked by an emotional terrorist?. Will I ever have love again? Passion, and madness go hand, and hand. Anyway here's a poem.

when I was queen of my universe
I owned everything I could see
joy and me never played this enemy game
things changed
now I'm this woman battling with words
from crowned pawn
to royalty at a dark prom
dancing with my bruised and reluctant prince charming
privilege is in question
there is no privilege in the garden of Eden
there is no garden in loneliness
you know this all seems well rehearsed
I saw it before
When I was queen of my universe