The room fell silent. I with the full understanding of what had just occurred closed my eyes. In hopes of blacking out the horrible sin, or escaping from this room. I know she is dead. He just killed her, I know it. But why? How could he? He says he goes this far but I never knew he'd go this far. Is she really dead? His laughter fills the room and I know she is dead. I close my eyes tighter and an attempted to be dead as well. There is a desperate whimper coming from the room now, and I know she is not dead. I also know by the sound of his laughter that she will be soon. I close my eyes. I want to forget I ever bored him this much.
He is holding her by her neck. Her head is limp as she is caterwauling from the pain and fear. Blood is bubbling out of her mouth down her throat and onto the sheets. "This was not personal, it was all the screaming." he tells her. "Just keep it down a bit, I sometimes have sensitive ears." the madness in this statement alone causes her to wail. In turn causing him to use the knife again. This time deep into the left side of her stomach. She tries to mouth please. He tells her to try and relax. Maybe lie down a bit more. She collapses on the bed in a dead limp and he knows almost instantly she is passing out. "Don't do that. Don't even fucking do that." he screams while shaking her now limp and bloody frame. "Don't try to fucking block this out I"m talking to you!" He straddles her body as he screams and shakes her. She is not dead. Her breaths are light and she is losing lots of blood. He knows he won't have her for much longer. She is dying from the trauma to her body. Her eyes slowly open as he is looking right at her. "Please help me." she mouths. Only now can he see the full beauty of this women. Her dark hair and brown eyes. The exquisite jaw line, the way the light caresses her skin. She is gorgeous. Lying here under him. Helpless, frail, frighten. He is so turned on by that, he makes loves to her for the first time.
He holds her limp body as he enters her. Kissing her bloody lips. She is very wet as he forces himself into her. "ssh...let me love you. Calm down." he whispers into her ear. She closes her eyes and passes out. This invokes a new rage in him. He begins to scream again. I close my eyes tighter. "Don't fucking block this out." His movements become more violent. Maybe in rage or possible in an attempt to awake the dying girl. She does not respond to his actions. He takes this as a sign of disrespect and reaches for the knife again. This time using it to replace his penis. As he inserts the bloody knife into the Woman's womb her body begins to violently convulse. He tells her she is beautiful and that he hopes she enjoyed the fun time they had together. He says all of this as he pushes the knife in and out of her. He moans from the intense pleasure he is feeling. I close my eyes tighter. He turns the knife and pushes it in deeper. "Fuck you." He says to her body, now bereft of life. "You were a whore anyway, weren't you?" He ask no one. He continues using his knife as an extension of his penis for another 30 minutes. I fall asleep in my place. I know what he has done. I don't want to face it or him. I just want to fall asleep.
When Master comes in to wake me from my place in the closet. I don't know how much time has passed. I don't know what he has done, or if what I know he has done is even real. I don't know if any of this is even real. He opens the cage and removes my mask and gag. He pulls me out of the cage and holds me in his arms. "Do you want to come sleep with me now?" he asks in such gentle voice. I know what I heard earlier was only in my imagination. He picks me up and carries me into the bedroom. The lights are on but the curtains are drown so I have no idea what time it is. I half expect to see a dead girl on his bed. I half expect to see nothing. I am only half right. The girl is gone. How did he get rid of her? Where did he take her? I know not to ever ask. The bed is covered in blood. The scene takes me back to when his band performs a Blood Ball. But this is no performance. He and his bed are covered in blood. I close my eyes to tell myself this is not real. But it is far too real. He removes my leash and says," Sorry honey, I may have gotten a little out of control?" I couldn't think of a thing to say. So I laugh and say, "Ya think?" He laughs as he turns back the bloody sheets. Removes his surprisingly not too bloody clothes and gets on the bed. I lay next to him in this dead girl's blood. As I do so I accept the fact that I am now fully separate from my formal self. I embrace the Madwoman my master has created. As he takes me in his arms. As I ease into his warmth and the blood he whispers, "I love you. I did this for you. So you will know that you can do anything you want." He then asks if I am afraid. I tell the truth and say no. "Never be afraid of anything we do." He tells me.
In this moment, laying here with Sir. Covered in the blood of some now long gone dead girl. I feel happy. I feel at peace. I understand the lesson he has taught me. I know he has brought me into his madness. A madness which I shall never again be free from. He has created a world where all darkness is gone. He has removed all light and replaced it with this. With blood and cruelty. But also with gentleness and warmth. Laying here in his deed I am trapped in a new world. In a place Master has created only for us. I am part of his secret. A broken piece of porcelain only he can put back together. I close my eyes, this time in joy. Knowing full well something I never understood before tonight. His darkness is my peace.
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