too shady, and crazy

Man, this world is sometimes too much for a woman like me. I was raised in all kinds of shady craziness, and the shit ain't over yet. The older I get the wilder the west becomes. You can't really trust anybody. Mostly because a great majority of mankind can't really trust themselves. Then we depend on one another for education. To me this world is mad sick right now. Has been for a while, yet you know I still reach up for the love. But for real folks are weak mentally. They are either smart, but don't know what to do with themselves. Or dumb as fuck, and trying to do way much. I feel like I love even though I'm neutral on most bullshit. I'm just trying to be a corporate media assassin, and trying to make sure my words don't die. I don't want my struggle to be for nothing. Sometimes I wish God could just look down on me, and save me from all of this. Here's a poem.

my strenght comes from within
where the tears are
I cry for too many men
who will be there for me in the end
will I even be remembered
or will there just be these words to decipher
my strength comes from within
where my joy is
that's how I know I'm going to heaven
though I now dwell in
well I'm sure you can tell