Who needs a daily re-cap?

What's more annoying than having a great day alone, and than having to explain why? To me one of the most important things is to have the freedom to spend my time how a want it. It's like if that is challenged in any way. I just get really pissed off. The world is annoying enough without having to explaining your every move. I mean I feel bizarre enough. Who really needs a daily re-cap,anyway?

It would be a lot simpler if everyone just...you know I don't know to make things easier. I just know my personal time is my own. Just because I am a woman I don't need to be protected form myself every minute of the day. Ugh....
too much..

Sid & Nancy Attacks

The Junkos are at my door again.

Banging it down for the man.

Trying to fill the needle.

Their golden arms itching again.

And to ask for weed in the same breath.

Their desperation is my death.

I still believe they fake it.

But they still need to take until there is nothing left.

I'm putting my foot down.

Fuck a burnt spoon, and a dream.

Today the junkies I will not feed.

- Josalisa

Post- Apocalyptic Blog Post:

This Was A Dream...


It was a basic attack of wack rappers, or a full on hatter attack.
I know not which.
My dream started off with me, and my friends J,& J all hanging out.
We were in one of my dream neighborhoods.
It was near a bus stop by a video store I once dreamed of...or was I dreaming about the bus stop/both?
Either way, we where going to a friends house.
I can't remember if it was a mutual friend, or just my friend.
The only thing that is clear is that it was a dreamworld friend, not a real world friend.
The friend could have been Fabien.
Yeah, it was Fabien.
We went to her house in my dream.
It was a really big two-story type number.
She had a husband or a boyfriend living there.
I can't remember if the man was Tony (some dude I used to work for), or Jose's Dad.
Maybe a crossbreed, I don't know.
Point being she was living with this dude, a husband type thing.
She had over some rappers with her.
I think they may have been underground.
They were good emcees for sure I remember that.
They where not rhyming but it was made clear in some way.
We where all sitting around having a peaceful if not some how odd time.
It was odd because I kept trying to look around and recognize someone, or something besides J & J.
You know like who the guys were, who the host was, and where the hell I was.
At one point some new guys came from like the back part of the house.
They where cool enough.
The were dressed like those Hip Hop geek style Hipsters, and I recognized one of them as Drake.
The other ones were Drakes style, or level emcees.
To me that means mediocre, but with honey on top.
They came in seemed cool, and were a welcome addiction to whatever madness was currently at hand.
J&J seemed to be enjoying themselves.
Which was good to me, because they both seem to constantly be at different stages of misery.
Most of the time anyway.
Taking this a good sign, and my cue.
I went exploring through the house.
One to find out more about my surroundings, and two to find out if other emcees may have been around.
I walked around for a very short while, I found nothing to really speak of.
Finally I found the back room I felt the mediocre emcees most have emerged from.
The door was somewhat ajar.
I heard rhyming coming from inside, saw a light, and some guys.
I went inside, and was surrounding by a stronghold of real emcees.
One of them being Russell Jones (O.D.B) Rest In Peace.
I sat down got relaxed, and felt alright.
I saw other members of the Wu Tang (I can't remember who).
Their rhymes, and there vibe was right.
The room was kind of small, and ghetto compared to the rest of the house I had seen.
They where smoking blunts, and drinking forties.
I felt really at home for a minute.
Until...
The host, Fabien I think, rushed in the room, and told me I needed to get out their.
Either the people in the room, or her husband/boyfriend (I couldn't understand which) was about to get dangerous.
I know now the woman was really Fabien, because the thick French accent was the thing that confused me about the warning.
I remember looking around the room, and thinking the guys didn't seem like a threat to me.
Plus O.D.B. was there.
So I figured it was the husband, or someone in another room she was talking about.
I got out of there fast, told J&J who was still talking to the mediocre rappers to lets get the hell out of there.
They got up fast, and we began to make our way out.
As we where heading to the door the dangerous person (I don't know who it was) begin to start acting buck.
We began to run, and a chase ensued.
It was us Vs. The stranger, and the mediocre rappers.
The dream went from weird to scary at this point.
We felt danger on our tails.
It was a chase across the dream neighborhood.
It lead to backyard fence hopping.
Nice manicured backyards.
Dirt field looking backyards.
Crazy back yards with abandoned cars in them.
The chase went over fences.
Chain-link fences.
Brick fences.
Those little white picket fences.
Even badly broken brick fences.
It was intense.
We finally got to this carnival, or amusement park type place.
We ran through it, no sign of the enemy, but still we ran.
We got to the end of the park/carnival, when J saw a friend driving by.
We flagged them down.
They were driving a wagon, you know like a Mom car.
A Toyota mini van or some shit.
It had one of those sliding doors I always feel like I'm going to fall out of.
Well we got in safe and sounds as it were.
It was full of people J&J recognized.
I didn't know the lot.
We got in the last row of seats, the thing had three rows.
A punk, or greaser guy was asleep in the chair in front of me.
I saw the chair was wet, and for whatever reason thought to clean up the wetness.
Once I begin both the guy, and a girl who was next to him got mad.
I couldn't see why, I explained my intentions but it didn't cool the situation.
I think they both thought I was trying to touch the guy, you know sexually.
I began to confess my madness, and the story of the chase.
In hopes of illustrating the lack of attention I had for this level of drama.
As a final show of madness I showed them how my shoes didn't even match that day.
I was wearing one Van, and one Jordan.
One Blue shoe, and one Pink further demonstrating my panicked situation.
While demonstrating this, I noticed J had on the exact shoe combination.
I figured we could make that right, so I asked to switch one pair for the matching.
I chose the Jordan's.
While she was passing me the other Jordan off of her foot it somehow fell out of the sliding door.
It went into traffic, and begin to get run over by passing vehicles.
I remember now the door was opened because this group was passing out fliers to groups of people on the street, and passing motorist.
The flier where something politics, or art related.
In The Metropolis the two arts and politics make for constant bedfellows.
I no not why.
I really didn't want to lose my shoe, it being a Jordan 12 with an Air Force one mix.
This seems strange, but I have a similar looking pair at home.
The shoe was pushed onto some train tracks, I dropped out of the car, and begin pursuit.
I found a bum holding the shoe.
The bum really looked like a post-apocalyptic cyberpunk kid once I got close enough to see him.
The sole was loose, and he was holding it in his hand.
I found the other part, and it was over.
I wanted the shoe anyway so I picked it up, and tried to get off the tracks fast, because the kid had pointed out the train moving quickly toward us.
I begin to run, but felt the train gaining fast.
In the end I don't know if I escaped from the train, or not.
I awoke in a confused freight.
...and that's all folks.

In the Ghetto we are Angles

We are real Angels

Yesterday I had an epiphany

In this life you have to reach for your dreams

Through the pain and the misery

Lies a memory more precious than gold

A tale of truth untold

At the moment of creation

We all were given the wings we'll need to fly

Humanity has always reached for the sky

And over again, and again made it

I am an example of infinite wisdom

Through the pain

I wrote down my life's plan at seven

Through the pain reaching for Heaven

Now I'm living it out

Making every move I dreamed about

I'm doing it through the pain

With a smile, and mad style

I'm expressing my existence like a documentary

I cry from the suffering

Yet the beat shall save me

I wield the pen like a Samurai sword

In the name of the abandoned, and poor

Flying high in the sky

Too many Strange Nightmares To Sleep

I had a dream I was in this strange Twilight Zone type community. I mean some of the stars from the show were even in the dream. It was real calm, and creepy, just like the The Zone. I was wondering around a sort of surreal, but familiar town. Where the people where friendly, but the place seemed well...out of place. Some of the buildings where just too old to be in a current town. Also I saw some of the city equipment, you know like street sweepers and whatever. The point is everything just seemed hella old fashioned for no good reason.

A pretty nice old woman saw I was confused about the whole thing, so she invited me back to her place to relax and try to figure it out. We meet up with her husband in route, and he thought he could help also so he went home with us. I recognized the man immediately as a Zone personality, but I didn't bring it up. I figured what good would it do. When I got back to the old couple's place they had been explaining the town to me the whole walk. You know like how it's pretty old, and they do things in a different way. Trying to make me less creeped out about how Twilight Zone the place was.

Well their house was no different. They lived in a creepy old Victorian house that just so happens to be a recurrent dream place of mine. Sometimes it's modern, sometimes I live in it, sometimes I just walk by it. This time this old couple lived in it. The couple introduced me to their kids. They had three creepy looking red haired ones. Two boys, and a girl. They looked like the red haired version of the kids from the movie Village of the Damned. You know dead eyes and the whole thing. They also had an older girl, maybe twelve who had dark hair, and seemed fairy normal for the setting she was in. I immediately got creeped out when I meet the kids, because they seemed way too young for this old couple.

Anyway at one point the red haired kids begin to get restless, and they started crying all over the place. So the parents ushered them into a back room which lead to a place I didn't want to know about. The dark haired girl stayed with me in the front room of the house. She assured me that this sort of thing happened all of the time. Which was no reassurance to me. I was so scared at this point I had freaking chills. I asked how long this sort of thing usually takes? I was ready to get the hell out of there. They where gone for less than two minutes, But the girl said they had been gone for eleven minutes. She also said they would not return for maybe a week. Well that freaked me out good. So I headed to the front door, and out of there with no protest for the child. Thank God for that.

I walked down a side street which ran adjacent to the house, so I was afraid the family would come after me. But they never did. I didn't know if they had gone to another dimension, or into some strange time vortex. The whole place felt like some vortex. I was just happy to be out of there. I eventually got to the end of a block. When I turned the corner and walked down a bit, the whole scene changed. I was in some semi deserted ghetto. I saw people at a store with a bus stop in front of it. I went inside to ask for directions, of if the bus would come. But the people where of no help. I kept walking a while. I found a bus got on, and was dropped off in this little beach community. It was sort of upscale, but low ball at the same time. Sort of like Venice but more of a Santa Monica vibe. I stated walking around, there was a lot of hotels. I got to a residential part, and I ran into my real life boyfriend. I couldn't have been happier about that. He brought a sense of normalcy to the whole thing.

He told me he was there to walk me home. So we begin to walk together, I had no idea where home was, but I was going there so I felt safe. I notice across the street we where walking towards the Bat-mobile was parked. It was the Bat-mobile from the second Batman movie. The one with Michael Keaton. I being a geek even in my dream got super exited, and wanted to go over to see it. A person got out. It was a women, and she Begin to walk toward our direction. She was very nice looking, dressed for a party I thought. She spoke to us in a pleasant manner at length. I can't remember what she said, only that she had the Bat-mobile as a Halloween thing, and would be returning it afterward. She went to a house, we waited for her because we had more questions concerning the Bat-mobile. When she left the house where no one was home she got into the car, another car pulled up, friends of hers. The people in the other car invited us to a party at 93something Riverside Dr. I couldn't hear the entire address. They drove away so fast we didn't get them to repeat it. We looked around but none of the street signs read Riverside Dr. We walked on.

Finally we came to a school type complex. It was full of young Black boys who looked really tough. It was like a reform school, but was supper huge. I had begin rapping while we walked up to the school. Some of the young Boys came over to talk to us about music. And than one boy with a bat started yelling at us about being trapped at the school. I said something that must have helped because he immediately curbed his aggression. I felt sorry for the boys, and wanted to get out of there, so we kept walking.

That's pretty much it. One other thing Jojo kept skateboarding the whole time we were walking and that really got on my nerves. Which is very unlike me. We never got to our destination. And I felt afraid, and trapped the whole dream.

To create.

I am a writer.

It's a struggle.

It's very hard for me to be totally honest about my entire life to you fuckers.

While you are out there constantly putting on the charades.

That drive me to the pen in the first place.

The Question of Technology

Are our digital friends our controlled substance?

Can you feel the beeping?

Can it hear my breathing?

Thousands of years from now will it be reaching for a human touch?

Is this the brink of digital madness?

The silence scares me.

The soothing glowing blue light upon my face comforts me.

Do I manipulate the technology?

Or does it (the machine) manipulate me?


- Josalisa