Why I Suffer/Why I Smile

Because I'm a geek in a world full of basic people. I see all my comic book heroes coming to life on the big screen. In a way I want to keep them to myself. In a way I want the world to love them. But who really ever sees what's coming in the future? (Well me but that shit hurts my head a bit). We can only analyze the past and that gets distorted pretty quickly. So I surround myself with Raekwon and Lemmy maybe they can fill me with the strength to get by on this. The creativity. Yesterday I ran into Matthew Lillard and he told me to stay Punk Rock. I wanted to tell him that I will forever Hack The Planet but I couldn't get the words out. But I will stay a cyber punk in my heart until I die. It's been written and confirmed by The Cereal Killer himself. So why do I question my Allies or myself? Over and over again? It's because I'm not sure. I am surprised by my effect on the world. I am surprised at how clear the things I love are laid out in front of me. I need to stop questioning and just enjoy. So I am here to enjoy the experience. It is a lovely tragic ride this life of mine. I love...I am loved back...I fear...I see fear reflected back. My Guru says it's all a mirror and it really is. But it is also just life. My birthday is tomorrow. Another year of Sho Sho activity. I can look back with a smile. It has been a great year so far. It has been a fucking amazing year so far. The shit has been so special it makes me want to cry...tears of joy and sadness at the same time. It made me want to have a breakdown and I did. But art was created even through the incredible madness. I am on the right path...it's the path to my greatness. I see it reflected in the eyes of the world. I am love. I am peace. I am madness. I am beauty. I am bravery. I am art. I am the accumulation of my own imagination. I am a wife...which may be the scariest part of all. I am a sister. I am a friend. I am a co-creator in my life. I can make joy rain down on me. I am Sherry Yvonne Chovan....I am Angelisa Josalisa. I am Mrs. 51416. I am a living breathing force to be reckoned with on the Planet. I am a girl in a room with a diary open to the world. I hope you hear me friends. I am freedom. I am... Valhalla. There is much love here...and all is mothefucking well!!!!

This has been Josalisa In a Riot of Peace and Joy and sorrow...all at the same time. 
I love you all...it's my Birthday and the Resurrection at the same time. Let all the joy rain down on me.