I can sleep, but I choose to do this

At any point in time a life can just change what it is all about. One day you are some way, maybe not the way you have always been. But it is the way you are, and in the next moment like a door opens. A door opens to another dimension and you are never the same again. Like a memory floods in from deep inside and you know you can never go back to the old you again. I feel like something was laying dormant inside of me, and now it has opened it's eyes and taking control of my whole being. A familiar feeling that has always been there but took second stage, or stepped back and allowed some of the lesser me's to take center stage. But now my...my what? My fire, my drive, unbending desire to survive this world has started burning and the shit is like a forest fire. All ablaze like a city in an riot. My own personal, spiritual Molotov cocktail has been thrown through the window of my hurt. And it brings me to tears, because I know I am on the shoulders of giants, and they will never put me down. Through madness I have survived. Through the heaviest rainstorm in hurricane season I've waded, and survived. I've been struck by lightening, and by fucking God HERE COMES THE THUNDER!